Fear of the unknown

As I've gotten older and observed others around me, I have become astonished at how many people "settle" for their unhappy ways instead of choosing the unknown. For the record, I am not exempt from this. I went through a period of extreme unhappiness and confusion. And I stayed in it for a number of years. Why would anyone in their right mind do that?!? Well, first ... I probably wasn't in my "right" mind. But, secondly, and more importantly (for this posts purposes), I think it was easier to stay in my situation because I simply knew what to expect. If I chose to do life a different way could I end up exponentially happier? Sure. But, things could also get so much worse. Right? That's part of the unknown. You just never know! 

I was in the shower (of course!) when I had the thought ... I wonder if there have been any studies on "let's make a deal" where they research how many people "gamble" their new earnings on the mystery box. How many people stick with the cash in hand, even though they could win a car?! I'm sure this is a skewed indicator of real life, because the winners probably haven't grown attached to their winnings yet. But, this is how my brain works, people. 

So, I googled it.

I found an interesting article on the website Psychology Today that says the following: "It turns out that activities that lead us to feel uncertainty, discomfort, and even a dash of guilt are associated with some of the most memorable and enjoyable experiences of people's lives."

"Happy people, it seems, engage in a wide range of counterintuitive habits ..."

"Truly happy people seem to have an intuitive grasp of the fact that sustained happiness is not just about doing things that you like. It also requires growth and adventuring beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone. Happy people, are, simply put, curious."

"Curiosity, it seems, is largely about exploration—often at the price of momentary happiness. Curious people generally accept the notion that while being uncomfortable and vulnerable is not an easy path, it is the most direct route to becoming stronger and wiser."

I didn't finish the article, because, truth be told, my brain couldn't handle any more! But, what I did read made me feel reassured in my laman observations. Life is tough. Being an adult is not easy sometimes. I'm grateful that I ventured beyond my boundaries and took the uncomfortable fork in the road. I know that it's difficult to take that step outside your comfort zone. Believe me, I do! But, I "gambled" and I won! I now know the sweetness of a comfortable, happy life that I would have never had if I hadn't taken that first scary, hesitant step. 

This reminds me also of a story where a man and his son were driving down a pitch black highway in a soupy fog. The son was afraid. But, his dad calmed the boys fears by showing him the steady beam of light coming from the cars headlights. And here is the ah-ha moment ... The darkness can never overtake the light, the light will always push away the darkness. 

I truly hope for you to find your true path - scary and unsteady as it may seem. Anywhere along your journey, I hope and pray that you have the light to guide you along your way. Again, you may not see your destination (which ties in to a previous post), but you will be able to see enough to safely keep you along your path. 

And if you are in your comfort zone, try to make a "scary" decision today. Doesn't need to be a big one. Try a new restaurant. Talk to a stranger. Drive a different route home. Do something new - karaoke, knit, cooking classes. Studies say you will be happier if you do! 😉

I'm trying to be more curious, too. And for those of you who know me ... This blogging thing is pretty uncomfortable for me. But, I'm trying to be more vulnerable. I'm trying to find more happiness. There's enough for us all! Let's go get some!

So ... Who's ready to make a deal?! 😊